오네죽 170

Oh, wow! 170 is also my favourite chap indeed!

Now Cullen is devoid of his feelings and emotions because he now sets the wall inside his mind again — with the help of the goddess!

It’s not at all surprising for our Cullen to choose this! This life is so full of miseries and sadness, and when he meets Kiyen, falls in love, and puts his salvation on the dragon, he loves wholeheartedly and without preservation. But then, it also leads to dangerous instability, because he has no room left for himself. And then one day, when the salvation he so believes in and relies upon so much is taken away, he is destroyed…

We focus on the dragon’s feelings since Kiyen expresses his emotions out loud, and Cullen is the listener of those feelings. However, truth is it is not only Kiyen who torments, but Cullen is suffered too. But he suffers silently and alone. Along the journey, how he blames himself for everything? How the long journey and the events at the palace push him to the limit?

Cullen is also a victim.

Cullen also needs comfort.

…

…

But with those blade-like verbal assaults, he is completely shattered.

                               

Therefore, being brought back to life, Cullen sees it as a burden rather than blessing. Dying and not feeling can be kinder to him. It is bitter to live. Death is liberation, and it is only sorrowful for those who are left behind. Oh, here, he’s up alive and that’s only to fulfill his roles … to bring peace to the world and to atone the dragon.

Oh, how ironic it is! Hearts never go in the same way. Now Kiyen feels, but Cullen does not. The errors Kiyen causes are significant, and it’s time for the dragon to rectify that misunderstanding now.

But then, I can’t say Kiyen is completely wrong too! Cullen has been indulging and spoiling Kiyen so much, so much that Kiyen thinks Cullen can absorb his lash-out once again. But then, the giver also has his limit, and the damage can be only taken to some certain degree.

PS. I have a feeling that the goddess is rather fond of Cullen? When she speaks to Cullen, she seems to give his choices that can be seen as little favours? And she speaks rather kindly? Somewhat this is quite different when she speaks to Kiyen. The way of talking is quite indifferent and uncaring. Hmm, does she love good children who try their best? But ha, everyone loves Cullen because of that too (:

PS 2. Now Cullen has to be alive again to clear all the messes?  Helen you useless lot! You waste 3 years that Cullen could have already get rid of monsters and the life. No, the duties are back to Cullen again! Life is full of hardship for Cullen indeed T_T